Gonzo ride home: January 5,2017

Changing trains in times square

Go by a sign that says: 

sin

Is an amino acid in the eyes called OPSIN

I don't need to read on

That’s enough information to chew on awhile

i get to the steps for my platform and it is packed

The second avenue line is up and running

The Q train takes a turn somewhere and the N R W -- We are shit out of luck 

the trains are few far between and stop in the middle of things sporatically

I make a speech to no one in particular and skip over the the 7 train

I cannot do the crowded platforms

it's not just the people and being too warm in your winter things

Its the energy of impatience

People are restless and cranky and it’s sucking up the air

I get to the 7 

they try to close the door on me but i put body first and then pack second as they attempt repeatedly to stifle my efforts

There is no fucking way

I am heading home

At Queensboro Plaza i don’t have to wait too long and there is air

The N train arrives full but not awful

the big lug of a guy in front of me--and her is tall andbroad his shoe size at least a 13

he is going to stop right inside the door so he can lean and play some stupid fucking matching the fucking colored cube games

I give him a poke in the back and say if he moves forward i will be able to get on the train

He turns and tells me i didn’t have to push

Twice a lie

1 He had every intention of depositing himself right inside the door and 

2 hey i'm a little old lady trying to get home. invisible to him.

I tell him i didn’t push him i tapped.

It’s a stretch but completely acceptable  

poking is something else from either but i'm not in the mood to discuss syntax directed notions 

i am a senior citizen now have  some fucking respect

i explain to him its all the fault of the second avenue subway and he nods and replaces his earbuds

Big deal the subway goes 2nd ave

it took 90 some-odd years and i dont give a fuck

It is stopping the N the R and the W

The rest of us can’t get home

just inside the door with nothing to hold onto

I put my pack between my feet

Because that’s good subway etiquette

Also it's heavy. 

 i have a hammer and a chisel in there with my camera on account of a friend and i were gonna try and open a manhole to get a shot of minetta creek  

but it got too cold too late too dark

I get my pack down but can't lean against the door til the train moves unless they open it cause some jerk is forcing their way on

I am kind of sideways and my arms are pinned so there’s a bit of a balancing act going on and i am tucking my head

A turtle

It is all such a big fucking todo

Then i start tuning in to some kid who is crying on and on

I am not happy

There were already little snivelers on the 1 train

I look up to see what is wrong with the crying kid and see that i am absolutly surrounded by people holding on with one hand and holding their stupid little screens in the other

They are all being sucked into their stupid little screen and

The mother of the kid is too

She even tells him “don't touch me”

I want to hurt her

I want to pass judgement. humble her.

then i come back into myself and i want ever-so- much to tell her this is a moment in time with her young son that is only going to happen once

She could say what is it honey

Hey look we can see out the windows here

But no

With her long nails she is scrolling and she is the only person in the car who is not being alerted by the kid screaming

The dementors are sucking everyone's souls into those stupid little fucking screens

I am so glad i have to make my twice-a-month stop at broadway to get my jailbird queens roasted coffee

As i step off the train i come back to my self again

i breathe 

been holding my breath but sure i was being suffocated by all the soul sucking

little fucking dementor screens